The 4 feelings that make us suffer to grow
- Filipa Serras
- Oct 4, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 5, 2024

The feelings that make us suffer!
Put this way, it might seem like we're going to talk about mistreatment, but it's exactly the opposite. Today I want to talk to you about the importance of 4 feelings that make us human and that, in theory, differentiate us from animals. I say theoretically because there are several authors who say the opposite, although science has not yet managed to prove this statement. In fact, it's always worth mentioning that science only believes in what it can prove and put in boxes, but is that really all it is?
In my opinion, NO! So let's dissect this topic a little more.
On the path to self-knowledge and personal development, we often face challenging and uncomfortable emotions. It is natural to want to avoid them, but the truth is that certain feelings, no matter how painful they may be, are necessary for our growth. They drive us to evolve in all areas of our lives – emotionally, mentally and behaviorally.
In this article, we will explore the four main feelings that cause emotional suffering, but which play a fundamental role in our development.
1. Fear – The Feeling That Defies Limits
Fear is perhaps the most paralyzing of emotions, but also the most transformative. Fear forces us to step out of our comfort zone and question what is really holding us back. Whether it is fear of failure, rejection or the unknown, it confronts us with our limits, real or imagined. By facing it, we develop courage, resilience and the ability to deal with uncertainty.
How does it make us grow?
Fear stimulates courage.
It drives us to make decisions and take action despite the discomfort.
It teaches us to trust our abilities in challenging situations.
2. Sadness – The Emotion of Reflection and Transformation
Sadness often arises as a consequence of loss, disappointment or change. Although it is a difficult feeling to deal with, it is through sadness that we process deep emotions and find clarity to reorganize our thoughts. It forces us to slow down, reflect and reevaluate what really matters in our lives.
How does it make us grow?
It promotes introspection, helping us to better understand our emotional needs.
It teaches us to accept the impermanence of life and to value the present moments.
It facilitates empathy, because it connects us with vulnerability, our own and that of others.
3. Frustration – The Engine of Change
Frustration arises when our expectations don’t align with reality. While it may seem like a roadblock, it’s actually an opportunity for growth. Frustration forces us to adjust our approaches, reevaluate goals, and find new ways to achieve our goals. It teaches us the importance of patience and persistence.
How does it make us grow?
Drives creativity and new solutions.
It teaches us to adjust expectations and be more flexible.
It develops resilience, showing us that obstacles can be overcome.
4. Insecurity – The Door to Self-Knowledge
Insecurity is linked to feelings of inadequacy or doubt about our abilities. This feeling challenges us to question our worth and seek internal answers about who we really are. Although uncomfortable, insecurity leads us to self-knowledge and authenticity, as we delve deeper into ourselves to understand the origin of these doubts.
How does it make us grow?
It encourages us to reflect on our strengths and weaknesses.
It helps us recognize that perfection does not exist and to accept our vulnerability.
It fosters the growth of self-acceptance and confidence as we overcome our inner doubts.
Although these four feelings – fear, sadness, frustration and insecurity – may initially seem like obstacles, they are actually gateways to profound growth. They are the foundation of a process of emotional, mental and behavioral transformation. By accepting and learning from these feelings, rather than avoiding them, we unlock new capabilities within ourselves and expand our awareness and personal power.
Growing up is not always an easy process, but it is through emotional challenges that we become stronger, wiser and more prepared to face life in all its complexity.
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